For the sake of labeling I would classify myself to be more of the Type A personality type, which until today I thought was a good thing. Historically it has always served me well, I have an advanced degree and a career I am pretty proud of. So naturally, when I found out I was pregnant I addressed the preparation process with the same approach as I have with any other goal. I read the books, watched the documentaries, registered for all of the classes and even spent time reading what interventions would be medically necessary for me and my child over the next 6-24 months.
Har and I are very different, it’s what makes our marriage so beautiful, he is completely unorganized, stresses absolutely nothing, is calm, patient, and wildly level headed particularly on this whole parenting thing. This morning when I told him I had blocked off time on his calendar to interview a pediatrician he didn’t push back but by the look on his face I can tell he thought the whole idea was a little excessive. While we were in the waiting room I reviewed my questions ready to fully interrogate this Physician as if he were doing a dissertation on the philosophy of his medical practice, meanwhile my Har was playing Pac-Man, completely unfazed.
The doctor invited us into his office, we sat down, he looked me in the eye and said “I can already tell you read too much, you have a notebook, a list of questions and I’m pretty sure you have a hidden camera set up somewhere” at that moment I didn’t know whether to be offended or impressed. He spent the next 45 minutes discussing what he felt were his short comings, what he thought were outrageous and unrealistic standards to parenting, he argued his approach to immunizations, antibiotics and how he personally wrote to the authors of “what to expect while you’re expecting” to tell them a lot of their book was a bunch of BS. I didn’t have the opportunity to go through my checklist of questions, but it didn’t matter I walked away from that experience with so much more.
There is no such thing as perfect parenting, I will let myself and my child down daily if I hold myself to an unrealistic standard. I was chosen to be this little boys mom and even if there is no structured philosophy or approach to my parenting style as long as I love him, make the best decisions I can for him and pray a whole lot, I think everybody’s going to be just fine.
To all you expecting moms or new moms out there, let’s not stress things that don’t need stressing, don’t compare yourself to other moms or hold yourself to unrealistic expectations.
Your best is enough and your love is more than enough…