self-sabotage2

I love people. Like I really LOVE people, I love talking to them, I love their unique personality types and quirks, I love how people engage in relationships, but what I probably find the most interesting is how people engage with themselves.

I find Social Media to be a beautiful tool (overall) for people who LOVE people like myself, it gives me instant access to a person by the click of a button.  On Facebook, Twitter and Instagram I get a snapshot of persons  life, or the life they portray (we are all guilty of this).self-sabotage

Over the past year since starting my blog and working with a traveling makeup company (Yes, I am a makeup artist too!) it has afforded me the amazing opportunity to build some really wonderful relationships with people I had no real connection to other than “friendship” over Facebook, a “Follower” on Instagram or a client in my makeup chair.  It’s pretty outrageous actually,  I can note about 12-15  messages I have received from different people in just over the past 3 months that has drastically impacted ME, it always starts off as “hey! this is totally random but would you mind sending me the recipe for this?” and quickly turns into pretty deep rooted conversations, the exchanging of phone numbers and the kick start to a friendship.  Having someone share their struggles and experiences with what could be considered a stranger is a very humbling experience for me and to be honest, there is nothing I consider more fulfilling.

The interesting thing about this process is that out of all of the different people who reach out to me on a daily or weekly basis none are really different at all, each and every single person is struggling with a distorted or diminished perception of self.

It’s person who has gained 30 pounds in the past 2 years because of emotional struggles he or she has faced, its the lady who just had a baby and feels like a stranger in her own body, its the woman who has been struggling with weight gain as a result of menopause or the girl who looks in the mirror and tells herself everyday why she isn’t good enough.  This is real life, real emotions all uniquely connected and many of which I have struggled with myself.  I find that in most cases the biggest issue isn’t the weight gain or weight loss it’s the emotions attached to it.

One of the biggest issues I had to overcome was to not measure my value by my flaws or in comparison with another person.  I needed to stop sabotaging myself with these negative thoughts and actions, the reality is that I am 100% Puerto Rican, I pose in pictures sucking in and standing with my arm protruding from my side and awkwardly placed at my hip  in order to create the allusion of a slimmer figure.  I have a very large head and big cheeks thanks to my Dad (love him but he could have kept these features to himself),  I wish my clavicle was more pronounced, that I was another 5 lbs lighter and that my waist was 2 inches smaller but at the end of the day I realize none of these things will actually make me a happier person if I don’t come to a  place of acceptance. 

I advocate and certainly believe in living a healthy and active lifestyle, however I no longer live in extremes, I treat my body with love and respect and am grateful for all that its capable of.   I have personal  goals I want to reach and changes I want to see in my body but I accept these as challenges and not as my failures.  I believe that we are fearfully and wonderfully made and we need to start believing that. 

Set a goal, attain it, don’t sabotage it with negativity.

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